Children of narcissistic parents are frequently subjected to emotional abuse due to their parents’ unreasonable and inconsistent demands. Here’s how it might affect you and how to cope with it.
One of several personality disorders, a narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by an exaggerated feeling of one’s importance, a strong desire for unrestrained attention and praise, strained relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
Narcissistic parents in specific, may try to live their life via their children and can be demanding and judgmental. They frequently have a possessive attitude toward their kids and their independence, especially as they get older.
Children of narcissistic parents frequently have challenging upbringings in which they tried and repeatedly failed to live up to their parents’ shifting expectations. They have an insatiable desire for affirmation and praise and show little consideration for the needs and feelings of other people, including their children.
Narcissistic parents frequently subject their kids to emotional abuse due to their unrealistic expectations. For example, people with a narcissistic personality disorder often lack self-awareness and empathy for others, especially their children.
Narcissistic abuse is widespread and can negatively affect children for the rest of their lives.
After all, consider how difficult it is for adults to understand narcissists, just think about how confusing the unpredictable narcissistic parents appear to a young child!
Effects of having narcissistic parents
Living in the shadow of your narcissist parents may lead you to undergo some if not all of these effects:
- Low self-esteem:
As a child raised by narcissistic parents, you may feel incompetent and low in self-esteem after hearing that you are worthless or useless your entire life. Although you might not be aware of these challenging emotions, they might pervade the background and significantly impact your day-to-day activities.
- People pleasing:
To satisfy their unmet demands for adoration, praise, recognition, and achievement, narcissistic parents utilize you as a child, which causes you to seek their validation continuously. Your inner critic never stops reminding you that you’re not good enough, even as an adult, because your parents held you to unattainable expectations. So, you also might start relying on other people for affirmation and confidence.
- Struggle expressing emotions:
Because you suppressed your desires and emotions as a child, you learned to hold them inside. You might have also never mastered the ability to restrain your unfavorable feelings as you now have trouble controlling unpleasant emotions like sadness or rage.
- Absence of boundaries:
When you were younger, your might have parents instilled in you the values of obedience and silence; you weren’t given a chance to stand out for your rights or freedom. Hence, you might lack the skills to assert yourself, uphold your limits, or defend your interests.
The moment has come to begin recovering from this childhood trauma.
Ways to cope with having narcissistic parents.
- Gain knowledge
You will probably need to start learning about what narcissism is, how it might manifest in parenting, and what its potential effects can look like, whether through literature or professional support. Any healing process begins with understanding what is, and making sense of your past will eventually come in handy.
- Establish boundaries
Setting boundaries with parents you’re afraid to offend or feel rejected by can be challenging. But by creating emotional and physical limitations, you may start defending yourself against narcissistic assaults and give yourself and your parents some room to reflect on what happened.
- Practice Self-Care
Setting limits, allowing yourself time to unwind, and giving yourself room to experience and work through challenging ideas and feelings are all parts of practicing self-care. Taking care of your body, reaching out to trusted friends, and ensuring you get enough personal time and space are all examples of other self-care practices. By being compassionate with oneself, you give yourself room to develop your identity despite anything you have gone through from your narcissistic parents.
- Let yourself experience grief.
Allowing oneself the emotional room to go through the grieving process is one aspect of this healing process. Even though it could take some time, this process will enable you to reflect on your experience, grow as a person, and stop doing the same or similar things in the future. To take care of yourself, grief also enables you to experience complicated feelings while letting go of anger.
Proper care and intention make it frequently possible to recover from your narcissistic parents! Learn how to properly take better care of your mental health, and develop happy, satisfying relationships as an adult!
