Even with the presence of warning signs, the boundary separating healthy and dysfunctional relationships can be easily crossed and challenging to identify. So, how can you identify a dysfunctional relationship and cope with it?

The relationship is considered dysfunctional when two partners injure one another in some way, whether intentionally or not. Dysfunctional relationships include reactive behavior from one or both partners, as well as dysfunctional communication. It’s likely that these behaviors were picked up throughout childhood or experienced as an adult and that no alternative behavioral expectations have been set.

These people cause problems and exacerbate them while frequently viewing themselves as victims. Frequently, the problem in such a relationship is that it may have started out healthy but is now emotionally draining and stressful. 

So how can someone recognize the signs, and how to deal with them?

Types of Dysfunctional Patterns in A Relationship

Dysfunctional relationships significantly contribute to the emotional destruction of both parties. They introduce undesirable obstacles into the relationship and exhibit a disturbing inclination that intensifies over time. This occurs when relationships are always characterized by unsettling difficulties and instability rather than by accomplishing their essential aim of delivering happiness and emotional support to their partners. These are indications of a dysfunctional relationship when you start spending more damaging time with your partner than constructive time.

Here are some indicators of a dysfunctional relationship:

• Lack of awareness: Sometimes, your partner may not realize how negatively they affect you. They might need to be made aware of healthy forms of communication. They probably need to understand social cues better to recognize when they’re bothering others or giving them the impression that they’re being judged or disregarded.

• Causing harm: Some partners purposefully mistreat others. You could feel singled out and targeted in these circumstances due to their rude words and deeds. Additionally, a person could try to manipulate or control you, which is poisonous conduct.

• Lack of assistance: Healthy relationships are built on a shared desire to see the other thrive in all areas of life. But when conditions deteriorate, every accomplishment turns into a contest. In other words, it doesn’t feel good to be with you anymore. They don’t make you feel encouraged or supported, and you can’t rely on them to stand up for you. Instead, you can feel as though they only care about what they want and don’t care about your wants or interests.

• Toxic communication: This is noticed when most of your talks are characterized by sarcasm or criticism and heated by contempt, as opposed to warmth and respect for one another. 

• Controlling patterns: These actions may be motivated by jealousy or a lack of trust, but they may also reflect a need for control, both of which can exacerbate the toxicity of a relationship. These attempts at control may occasionally point to abuse (more on this later).

• Abuse: When someone purposely hurts you repeatedly, that person is abusive. Abuse is never acceptable, regardless of whether they are continuously talking negatively about you or physically hurting you.

• Manipulation: Abusers frequently employ psychological tricks like gaslighting and manipulation to minimize their partners’ demands and viewpoints. Abuse occurs when one partner acts as the bully and the other as the sufferer in a relationship; typically, these relationships don’t improve.

How to cope with dysfunctional relationships 

Have frank and open discussions

Be honest and forthright with your partner about your feelings and the responsibilities you will bear in the relationship. Cohesion in a relationship is increased by having these discussions jointly and dividing the workload. Pick a moment when both of you are refreshed and in a reasonable frame of mind for these chats to be meaningful and productive.

View your partner sympathetically

Despite how difficult it may be, we must remember that our partners are also people, and as such, they make errors and have had relationships before us. It’s critical to keep it in mind and understand their difficulties. It’s crucial to approach your partner with compassion because it enables you to perceive them as a real partner rather than as the enemy. When there is a disagreement, showing compassion can significantly improve communication and make a world of difference.

Give space for your partner to change

Change takes time. It’s crucial to remember that developing new habits and breaking old ones are both complex tasks. Both partners must put in the effort when attempting to improve a relationship. Holding the space for that shift to happen and for you to see the change could be the work of one. You will only be able to see the shift if there is a place to demonstrate new methods of engaging in the relationship. Make sure you prioritize looking after yourself because it takes a lot of self-control and patience to accomplish this.

Practice individual healing

It’s critical for each of you to consciously consider your needs and boundaries in the relationship. Even if you believe that you already understand your needs and boundaries, reviewing them and then communicating them to your partner is still essential. However, remember that boundaries might vary over time, so it’s crucial to continue talking about them. Rebuilding a broken relationship allows you to reconsider your feelings about many aspects of the union, from physical intimacy to communication requirements.

Assess whether you should leave the relationship

Some people find that leaving unhealthy relationships is the best course of action. The relationship is worse for you than it is for them when it affects your own health and well-being. When there is abuse of any kind, it’s critical to understand your value, defend yourself, and get assistance as soon as possible. Some people are intrinsically incompatible, and it can take some time to really accept this. This can be difficult to do and a difficult decision to make. It might be pretty beneficial to discuss this and figure out how to end a relationship with a therapist.

It’s crucial to put your well-being first when coping with any kind of dysfunctional relationship. 

If you’re dealing with someone who saps your happiness and vitality, think about cutting back on your time spent with them, and seek assistance whenever needed.