If your mind continues telling you, “I’m a failure,” realize that you can change your thinking and start talking to yourself positively. Here are the effects of failure on the brain and how to deal with it.

Failure, like all emotions and feelings, sets off a chain of events and chemicals in the brain. If you fail, you may experience feelings such as disappointment, fear, and embarrassment. When we win, our brains release endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, which motivate us to do the same thing again. When we fail, our brains release cortisol, which does not leave us with sentiments of acceptance and safety.

Cortisol is the body’s principal stress hormone, and it works with specific sections of your brain to control your “mood, motivation, and fear.” It is also renowned for enhancing your fight-or-flight response, which is a psychological reaction in your brain in response to a very stressful or dangerous circumstance. 

Failure is highly subjective, and it all depends on what you consider to be failing. Your definition of failure is likely to differ considerably among your parents, neighbors, and friends. In general, it is the state or condition of not meeting or achieving a target as planned; essentially, it is a lack of success.

There are numerous reasons why you may feel like a failure. Among the elements that could play a role are:

• Anxiety/ Depression
• Helplessness 
• Lack of support
• Self-esteem issues
• Comparing yourself to others
• Negative self-talk 
• Unrealistic expectations 

Here is all you need to know about the fear of failure, and how it affects your brain.

Effects of failure on the brain

Failing alters your perceptions of your own abilities.

Failure, in addition to making your goals seem further away, distorts your judgments of your actual talents by making you feel less capable. When you fail, you are more prone to misjudge your talents, IQ, and capacities and perceive them to be substantially less than they are. Understanding this and fixing it in your head is critical since it causes you to undervalue your abilities.

Failing gives you the impression that you are powerless.

Helplessness is one of the most prevalent and intense sentiments people experience after failure. Failure leaves an emotional scar. Your mind responds to this wound by attempting to convince you to give up so that it will not be hurt again—and the greatest method to convince you to give up is to make you feel helpless. By making you feel as if there is nothing you can do to succeed, your mind may avoid future failures, but you will also miss out on future successes—which is why you should not always listen to your feelings.

Failing might instill an unconscious “fear of failure.”

Some people believe they have a “fear of success.” They don’t because they are afraid of failing. The issue with most failure worries is that they are unconscious, which means you aren’t dealing with whether the worry is true, reasonable, or plausible. That suggests you’re not thinking about how to improve your chances of success; you’re just trying not to feel bad if you fail. People behave out as a result of their unconscious concentration on avoiding future failure rather than achieving future success.

Failing frequently leads to unintentional self-sabotage.

One of the most common ways people try to protect themselves from the pain of future failure is through self-handicapping—creating excuses and situations that can justify why they failed, such as attending a party the night before an exam and claiming they were tired or hungover; developing psychosomatic symptoms such as headaches and stomach aches that made it difficult to concentrate; or magnifying a minor “crisis,” such as the need to spend two hours on the phone with an upset frenemy. Because they undercut your efforts and raise your chances of failure, these types of actions frequently become self-fulfilling prophecies. 

Failing raises our sense of shame.

Shame is an unpleasant emotion, thus, it is not unexpected that people who are afraid of failure orient toward and avoid failure in instances of achievement. Actually, such people want to keep themselves out of success situations as much as possible. In summary, avoiding mistakes and failures inhibits the growth and maturation of people who are afraid of failing, which leads to more mistakes and failures over time. As a result, the avoidance of failure is likely to be a self-perpetuating process in which the very act of avoiding failure serves to perpetuate and exaggerate the tendency to avoid failure.

How to cope with our fear of failure

Let yourself experience emotions.

When we fail, we can feel a variety of unpleasant emotions, including shame, disappointment, grief, fear, wrath, and embarrassment. These emotions are painful, and our natural impulse is to avoid or repress them. While this may provide temporary respite, it does not address the underlying issue, which will usually resurface, and can interfere with appropriate emotional processing. Allowing our sensations to be, rather than fighting them, can be more beneficial. To begin, attempt to recognize and label the emotion. Let yourself time to experience it, understanding that failure is a part of everyone’s life experience and, in fact, necessary for success.

Recognize irrational fears of failing

At some time in your life, you may have adopted some unreasonable notions about failure. Perhaps you believe that failure means you’re a failure or that you’ll never succeed. Perhaps you believe that if you fail, no one will like you. These kinds of ideas are false, and they can keep you from undertaking tasks where you could fail. Make a point of identifying any unreasonable assumptions that may be influencing your emotions and actions.

Identify unhealthy patterns

You may be tempted to respond, “I never wanted that job anyhow,” but diminishing your suffering will not make it go away. Distracting yourself or trying to replace the hole you feel with food, drugs, or alcohol will not heal your suffering. These remedies will only give you brief comfort. Acknowledge the problematic methods in which you try to avoid or reduce suffering in your life. Using coping strategies that cause more harm than benefit will simply make matters worse.

Practice self-compassion.

While dealing with failure, self-compassion is a vital step in taking care of oneself. Once you’ve realized that you’re going through something painful, show yourself the same care you’d show others. Self-compassion entails being warm, compassionate, and understanding of oneself rather than judging and criticizing oneself. Because humans are flawed by nature and will unavoidably make mistakes, this strategy is significantly more effective. By practicing self-compassion, you recognize your humanity as well as the truth that things do not always go as planned. When self-compassionate people fail to reach their goals, they are more resilient to try again.

When you believe in yourself, your failures will be less painful. Examine your achievements to assist you in validating your worth and silence negative ideas. With little help, you can focus less on your shortcomings and more on your positive qualities and lessons learned from going through difficult situations.