Is there such a thing as too much confidence? Learn how overconfidence impacts relationships and growth.
We’ve all been there: the self-help books, months of therapy and the countless positive affirmations– all to overcome those facets of anxiety that chip away at our confidence. For many of us, we can even think of someone who seems effortlessly confident– always self-assured, never second-guessing themselves. It’s sometimes that person who is not afraid to “tell it the way it is”.
And while confidence has a profound impact in helping individuals tackle challenges and take risks, it can sometimes become toxic. Because when that confident person starts to demean those around them, overestimate their skills and reject all kinds of criticism, it becomes difficult to maintain a personal and professional relationship with them.
What happens when overconfidence distorts reality, hindering our ability to grow and connect? In today’s blog, we’ll be unpacking common myths we have of overconfidence, exploring its psychology and consequences.
Behind the Overly Confident Mask
Myth #1: An overly confident person is someone who is outspoken and assertive.
The perceived prototype of an overly confident person is someone who dominates someone, isn’t afraid to give their harsh opinion and doesn’t hesitate to assert their needs. In reality, confident individuals are people who are so comfortable in their own skin that they are not rattled by compromise or other people’s strengths.
Myth #2: Being overly confident means you’re competent and skilled.
Overconfidence differs from arrogance—it doesn’t always come with the intention to appear superior. Instead, it often stems from a genuine, but misguided perception of one’s abilities, making them blinded to their limitations. Fueled by cognitive biases like the Dunning-Kruger effect, individuals with limited expertise can sometimes believe they know more than they do.
Myth #3: All those who overly express confidence believe in themselves.
Although overconfidence and self-doubt appear to be opposites, they share a common root: uncertainty about self-worth. Sometimes, those who express an exaggerated amount of confidence are trying to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. Thus, they would seek validation and reassurance in self-defeating ways.
The Consequences of Overconfidence
Poor Decision-Making
Decision-making is a process that involves intricate evaluation of one’s capacities, risks and resources. Overconfidence can lead to uninformed decisions when individuals overestimate their abilities and underestimate their vulnerability to error. And that’s not just my clinical judgement. Research even backs it up!
Damaged Relationships
It truly is a scary thing to be vulnerable— opening your weaknesses to those you care about. To protect themselves, overconfident individuals tend to hide behind their mask of certainty and invincibility. Ultimately, this itself can strain personal and professional relationships. When someone dismisses others’ ideas or refuses to acknowledge mistakes, it can come across as arrogance, creating tension and diminishing trust.
Missed Opportunities for Growth
Here’s a not-so-secret secret: Perfection exists only in fairytales— even then, Cinderella had her flaws! True confidence is when one is able to meet feedback with vigor to learn instead of regarding it as personal criticism. In that sense, overconfident individuals may ignore constructive criticism or avoid feedback, believing they have nothing to improve and hindering their ability to grow, evolve and prosper.
Burnout
Someone who is overconfident may set unrealistic expectations for themselves, overestimating their mental resources and underestimating the challenges ahead. This constant pressure can eventually lead to burnout and erode one’s psychological well-being.
Let’s Tap into The Psychology of Overconfidence
Before anyone jumps into critiquing the overconfident individuals they know, let’s take a moment to remember that this is a safe space! This means that overconfidence is only one aspect of an individual’s personality, interplaying with thousands of internal and external factors in a unique blend of traits and experiences.. However, it’s important to develop an understanding of how this particular aspect comes to be in the first place. Here are some underlying processes that foster one’s overconfidence:
Cognitive Biases
Cognitive biases, such as the illusion of control, contribute to overconfidence. People tend to overestimate their ability to control outcomes and selectively focus on information that supports their beliefs.
Social and Cultural Factors
Let’s say you’re in a meeting, and your coworker says with utmost confidence a very inaccurate fact. Yet, your boss seems weirdly impressed. Can you think of a similar incident? In many societies, confidence is equitable with competence, encouraging individuals to project certainty even when they’re uncertain. This pressure can reinforce overconfidence, especially in competitive environments where self-assurance is rewarded.
Fear of Vulnerability
Early experiences where confidence was used as a shield against criticism or rejection may instigate attitudes of overconfidence. For example, a child who frequently feels overlooked or inadequate may develop an exaggerated sense of self-assurance as a way to command attention or validation. Over time, this behavior becomes ingrained, creating a façade of confidence that masks deep-seated fears of failure or inadequacy. While this strategy may provide short-term protection, it often prevents meaningful self-reflection and growth, keeping individuals trapped in a cycle of unmet emotional needs.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect
This cognitive bias suggests that individuals with limited knowledge in a domain often overestimate their expertise. Conversely, experts may underestimate their abilities, demonstrating a more balanced view of their competence.
Striking the Right Balance
For a journey of empowerment, interpersonal prosperity and professional development, confidence and humility must both be held, one next to the other. Even then, it could certainly be difficult to juggle each at the same time. One must acknowledge their inherent sense of self, while simultaneously being open to growth and improvement. Here’s how you can strike the right balance:
- Self-Reflection: Regularly assess your strengths and weaknesses. Whether through journaling, therapy or mindfulness, honest reflection helps you recognize areas for improvement and keeps confidence grounded.
- Seek Feedback: Constructive feedback from trusted peers or mentors provides fresh perspectives and highlights blind spots.
- Adopt a Growth Mindset: Growth is a natural human experience that requires an attitude of proactivity, openness and humility. Embrace challenges and view setbacks as opportunities to learn.
- Stay Curious: Those who are overconfident may disregard important pieces of information, believing they already have the competence they need. However, the consequences of overconfidence often stem from incomplete knowledge. Stay curious, ask questions and remain open to learning new things.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Self-compassion helps you recognize your inherent self-worth, even in moments of weakness. In that way, confidence is not about denying one’s own limitations, but it becomes about recognizing that these limitations do not demean you as a human
Closing Thoughts
Confidence without self-awareness and humility is a dangerous illusion. Don’t directly fall into the allure of those who are loud and assertive, but take a moment to really seek understanding and empathy. By recognizing the pitfalls of overconfidence and striving for balance, individuals can start to approach challenges with authenticity and resilience.Striking this balance allows you to navigate life with clarity and genuine strength.
Confidence comes not from always being right,
but from not fearing to be wrong.”
– Peter T. McIntyre