Having a hard time accepting who you are? Can’t see a way out of this loop of self-hatred and external validation dependency?

We are always looking for external validation in our everyday lives, whether it’s from a partner, a parent, or even coworkers. It is easy to be swept away by the rush we get when someone tells us we did a good job. But that someone can always, and should always first be ourselves.

Here are some strategies you can use in your everyday life that can help you validate yourself in the things you do and the person you are. 

Accept Your Emotions

Your emotions are yours; they are what makes us all human. And sometimes, we wait for others to validate our emotions before we ourselves validate them. This can lead to a cycle of never-ending wait for others to tell us it’s okay to feel this way. 

Recognizing your emotions as valid is a step in the right direction, as it brings greater psychological health. Acknowledging your emotions instead of judging them can help you experience less negative feelings in stressful situations, which is when you might need the most external validation.

Embrace your feelings, they are valid and so are you. 

Practice Self-Care

Your wellbeing is directly linked to how you treat yourself. A proactive way to achieve self-care is by listening to your needs without judgment, and making time for yourself even when you feel like there isn’t any time. 

This is a priority, so try being mindful about what your body and your feelings are telling you, it can benefit your and others’ wellbeing greatly. 

So take care of yourself, it helps you understand that your needs are valid.

Stop Linking Your Worth to How Others See You or Treat You!

You are so much more than how other people perceive you and you are definitely NOT how people treat you. Learn to separate people’s behavior towards you from who you are. Those two are very different.

Self-validation starts with boosting your self-esteem, which is how you assess yourself when it comes to your qualities, what you do, your character, your personality, and what you might be attached to.

When you start realizing you are worth more than just the perception of other people, that you are an entire person with flaws and qualities beyond the reach of others, you can start validating yourself without reaching for other people to do it for you.

Self-validation is at the core of being yourself completely and honestly, and that’s what we should all strive for at the end of the day!