Adolescence is a challenging period and a rollercoaster of emotions for both the parent and the child. So how can you help your teenager understand their feelings and grow into their better versions?

Adolescence is the peak of physical and emotional changes for these young people and a challenging time for parents who witness this transformation. Teenagers feel scared by the sudden changes they’re experiencing within themselves primarily and with their surroundings secondarily. They might even take different periods to grasp this change that varies between one individual and another. 

Your turn comes when you will assist your teenager in expressing and understanding his emotions more clearly and freely. How can you achieve this?

This article will discuss five ways that aid you in helping your teenager understand his feelings.

Understanding the Adolescent Mind

During adolescence, a person tends to break away from their childhood attachments as they are on their way to developing their separate identity. This may lead to them taking part in peer groups, new activities, updated mindsets, and new personas. As they try to develop into their new selves and figure out their identities, they could be prone to hormonal changes, shaken self-esteem, and self-consciousness.

On the other hand, parents will notice these changes and try to help their child but will be met with rejection, secrecy, and boundaries. Conflicts between the parents and their teens are expected during that phase, and parents must be mindful about their reactions to help their adolescents understand what they’re going through, and seek their comfort when needed.

What to expect when dealing with teenagers?

During that phase, you will notice the change in both your life and your teenagers’. At this age in which they experience a lot of whirlwind thoughts and emotions that will leave you confused and maybe shocked. This sudden independence that your child starts acting up on will pretty much dismiss your parental authority on them. 

1- You might get shadowed: 

At this point you might start hearing comebacks like “ It is none of your business” and “ Leave me alone”. Your teen may respond to your attempts to connect with anger, irritation, or other negative reactions. You will have a sense of confusion, and start questioning whether you should interfere and exert pressure or should you just go with the flow? 

2- You might get rejected: 

You will feel left out of your teenager’s personal life. Your teen will no longer get back to you to share his choices or opinions, you’re left out probably from all his decisions, and by that, you lose almost all the times you used to share and spend together.

3- You might need to change: 

This phase will require your patience and mindfulness. Don’t assume that dealing with your teen the way you used it when he was a child will make him closer to you. Your teen is facing a period of transition in which you in return, should keep up to it, in order for you both to reach a common ground and proper solutions that suit the two of you. 

I know this sounds challenging, but with a few steps, you can help your teenager understand their feelings, and restore your relationship.

What ways to follow that might help your teen understand their emotions? 

The key to better understanding the emotional state your teenager is passing through is calmness. Whatever you do, don’t outburst! You know how stubborn and difficult your teen will get when you start with your excessive comments and criticism, so you have to be patient and consistent.

1. Share your own experience:

An approachable way to discuss things with your teenager is by sharing common ground. As parents you were in the same position long ago, you have been there, you know all about the hormonal changes, mood switches, and unpredictable behavior. 

Normalize talking with your teen, normalize communication, and share thoughts together. Reflect on the current situation, and show empathy and understanding. 

2. Listen without judgment 

It is very important that you actually listen to your teenager’s needs and fears without judgment, criticism, or even offering advice. Your teen needs to feel he is understood and appreciated for who he is, not for who you expect them to be. The bond you build here is strong, safe, and reliable. It is exactly what your teen needs to understand his feelings and reflect on them.

3. Be an example:

Don’t expect any other attitude than the one you treat your teen with. If you stay honest and you share your emotions with your teenager, he will do the same with you as well. This will allow him to think of the reasons he feels a certain kind of emotion and find a way to put it into words and describe it to you.

4. Ask questions:

What really gets your teenagers’ minds’ aware and self-conscious is how you can alter their negative thoughts. This is all done through questions. 

Ask your teen about the feelings they are going through and what are the reasons behind them. Open conversations that lead to the logical analysis of the emotional state they are going through, and let them through this try to overcome it and learn that this is all temporary. 

5. Understand what’s behind the anger:

Understand that your adolescent’s reactions may come from their confusion, anger, or triggers. They could be scared of these changes, passing through an emotional imbalance, facing anxiety, or experiencing peer pressure. Put yourself in their position and accept that this phase requires certain levels of patience, anger management, and assertive communication.

6. Introduce journaling:

This method helps your teen identify his/her feelings and have a clearer vision of them. Once this is done, they can with time and practice have control over the thoughts that cross their mind and try calmly to let them pass and not to get attached to their existence. 

Your teen only needs your care and love, provide these emotions as they make them feel safe, and even let them love to be around you!