Anxiety and fear in social situations can alter various aspects of your personal, social, and professional lives. Where does it root from and what are the coping methods?
Shyness is a feeling of nervousness or distress in presence of other people, especially in unusual situations or among strangers. It’s an irritating feeling of self-consciousness and overwhelms the individual by the fear of judgment or rejection.
Most children are born with a tendency towards shyness, but this is amplified by social experiences, parent interactions, and specific character traits.
Shyness can make you uncomfortable in social situations, but the difference is in the intensity and effects of your fear. It is characterized by blushing quite often, avoiding social gatherings, and feeling overwhelmed by new experiences.
This could not only affect a person’s mental well-being, but also take a toll on his social, professional, and personal relationships. So how to cope with it?
Causes of excessive shyness:
Several factors can build up shy personality traits and these include:
- Lack of knowledge on how to participate in social situations
A reason for shyness could be because you are not sure of how to behave in certain social situations. This adds up to the tension and anxiety of having to deal with social gatherings or new situations. So when it comes to a time when you are exposed to parallel situations, you often prefer not engaging or ignoring the incident.
- Bullying and Criticism
Being over teased or bullied as a child can negatively affect your personal attributes and develop a sense of shyness and discomfort. If it happens on a regular basis this causes your self-esteem to deflate and would directly assume that everyone dislikes you.
- Inconsistent Parenting
Inconsistent parenting is for example when a child is punished one day for misbehavior, and then disregarded in other similar incidents. Conflicting parenting may cause you to feel insecure and might give you the impression that your parents are extremely over-involved or under-involved. This in turn increases your personal confusion, interpretation of relationships, and self-worth.
- Strict parenting
Children who aren’t permitted to experience things may have trouble developing social skills. Strict parenting can increase your fear to express your emotions, share your thoughts and be an active participant in a social incident.
How to cope with excessive shyness
- Schedule Your Social Life
It is impossible to put an edge on your social skills without investing time in them. Practice makes perfect, even for socially secure individuals. They more likely surround themselves with others, getting a rich supply of opportunities to observe interactions and to improve their own social behaviors. You need to do the same. Stop turning down party invitations and start inviting people to visit you at home. Plan outings with close friends you’d like to know better.
- Think Positive
Insecure people tend to approach others anxiously, feeling they have to prove that they are interesting. While self-assured people expect that others will respond positively despite the fact that one of the most difficult social tasks is to join an activity that is already in progress. Practice positive thinking by keeping a daily journal where you mention 3 things you’re proud you did that day.
- Enter Conversations Gracefully
Timing is everything. After listening and observing the group you want to join, look for an opportunity to step in, knowing it doesn’t just happen. It usually appears as a lull in the conversation. People admire others who are willing to take risks and throw out a topic for conversation, but you have to make sure it has general appeal.
- Learn to Handle Failure
It is a fact of life that everyone will sometimes be rejected. Rebuffs happen even to popular people. What distinguishes them socially confident from mere mortals is their reaction to rejection. Self-assured people become volatile, using the feedback they get to shape another go at acceptance.
- Take a Hold of Your Emotions
Social situations are incredibly complex and dynamic. One has to pay attention to all kinds of verbal and nonverbal hints, such as facial expression and voice tone, interpret their meaning accurately, decide on the best response for the scenario, and then carry out that response, all that should happen in a matter of microseconds.
- Laugh A Little
Humor is the single most prized social skill, which is the fast track to being liked. Humor works even in threatening situations because it defuses negativity. There’s no recipe for creating a sense of humor. But even in your darkest moments, try to see the lighter side of a situation.
I know it may sound hard at first, but you will overcome your shyness by keeping in mind that it doesn’t happen in just one day. Keep a positive outlook on your reactions and make sure you talk gently with yourself. You will get there!