Extreme anger does not only affect both your personal and social life, but could also disrupt your mental health and impact the people around you. How to deal with anger issues?

Anger is one of the natural human emotions, like sadness, excitement or happiness. However, left unexpressed, anger can lead to other pathological expressions, or in other words; anger issues. 

Research shows that anger could display adverse effects on both a person’s physical and mental health. 

Whether it’s due to sudden circumstances, current hardships, deep mental struggles, or simply a friend cancelling on your plans, anger could be difficult to deal with. 

Read on to learn more on how to identify, monitor and cope with your anger.

What are anger issues?

Sometimes, anger is essential and natural. It is a response you receive when someone or something goes wrong. However, anger issues are more intense emotions where you cannot control your feelings and reactions.

They could be associated with common mental conditions, which increase their intensity, and these include: Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), Bipolar disorder,  Intermittent Explosive Disorder, and Grief.

Anger issues are recognized when you start having destructive and violent behaviors. You can compare between usual rage and anger issues by identifying the following signs:

• Feeling stressed and physically unwell because of your anger (e.g. muscle tension, increased heart rate, or overwhelming emotions)
• Reacting to situations fastly- having a short fuse
• Directing your anger at the wrong person or in the wrong way
• Displaying physical and verbal aggression
• Showing anger anywhere, anytime, without revealing other emotions
• Having an extremely short temper, and irritability in most incidents

Anger issues could also be accompanied by physical symptoms which include:

• Knots in your stomach
• Clenching in your hands and jaw
• Breathing faster
• Headaches
• Pounding heart
• Anxiety
• Pacing
• Having trouble concentrating
• Nausea
• Sweating

How to monitor your anger?

Anger doesn’t come alone. It exists with multiple cues that can be physical or mental. In order to recognize your anger issues, and understand your feelings, it’s best recommended to monitor your anger on a daily basis.

Start by asking yourself the following questions, and write the answers down:

• What events made me angry today?
• What thoughts led to making me angry?
• How did I express my anger?
• Did I impact other people?
• When and where did it happen?
• How did I lose my temper?
• How exactly did I feel?

You could measure your anger on a scale of 1 to 10; how much did you feel today? what did anger make you feel like? 

How to cope with anger issues?

Some anger management techniques help you diffuse your anger when it gets ahold of you.  Below are efficient methods to cope with your rage.

Reflection:

• Notice the problem and recognize your triggers at the time of anger.
• Formulate your anger into a statement and describe it clearly- “I am angry because …. I want to ……”.
• Communicate these feelings to the people around you and explain that your anger is not directed towards them personally.

Relaxation: 

• Take deep breaths by inhaling, counting till 5, then letting it out.
• Visualize a better condition through imagining yourself in your safe place, or remembering a happy moment. For example, recall your last outing with your friends and watch the images taken that day.
• State the phrases “I’m okay”, “I can find a solution”, “Relax”, and repeat them to yourself until you feel better.

Restructure:

• Lower your arousal by focusing on finding a plan that could mitigate your anger. For example, if your relationship is causing you extreme stress, make sure to address your needs, discuss the problems, and develop constructive solutions.
• Change the environment that triggered your irritability, and step away from toxic situations that affect your mental stability. 
• Seek professional help when you notice that your anger is associated with other intense emotions.

Remember that anger does not make you a bad person. Going through tough times could have its various outcomes, and you can overcome them with the appropriate response and support.