Challenge misconceptions about suicide and explore conversations of empathy.
As September is here, schools have resumed and work may be as stressful as ever. However, I invite my readers to acknowledge a very important day, one that is dedicated to all our loved ones who are fighting silent battles every time they wake up. The 10th of September marks a significant day, World Suicide Prevention Day.
Today’s blog will be a bit different, yet just as important. As we honor the courage and resilience showcased by individuals who struggle against suicidal thoughts or have lost loved ones to suicide, we will be discussing common misconceptions about suicidality, exploring tips to start honest, judgment-free conversations.
A Silent Epidemic: Myth vs. Fact
As distressing as suicidality can be, it remains a topic that is masked by stigma, prejudice and shame. Consequently, all sorts of misconceptions are dissipated. But don’t worry! Because here is where we debunk some of the many misconceptions about suicide:
Misconception #1: Discussing suicidality encourages/triggers suicidal ideations.
If you’re not hungry, and I ask you if you’d like to eat, would that simple question trigger your hunger? Now, if I ask you if you’d like a juicy, grilled cheeseburger with a side of golden curly fries, wouldn’t you say that your mouth watered a bit?
Contrary to popular belief, simply asking someone if they’re having suicidal ideations does not trigger or intensify suicidality. When questioned, a person is either already having thoughts about suicide, or rejects these thoughts. However, as you saw with the cheeseburger example providing examples of ways or steps one can do to kill themselves might be risky. Similarly, media posts that raise awareness about suicide prevention are useful when they are objective and straightforward. Yet, almost romanticizing the idea, such as sharing specific details about a celebrity’s suicide attempt, might bring more harm than good.
Misconception #2: People who attempt suicide are just seeking attention.
While some individuals may engage in self-harm as a means of expressing anger or soliciting help, this does not invalidate the significance of their pain and distress. When an individual perceives that risking their life is the only way to get support, it often reflects profound feelings of helplessness, vulnerability, and misunderstanding. Furthermore, suicide is frequently associated with severe psychological pain, which is compounded by intense loneliness and the perception of being a burden. Therefore, it is crucial to approach the issue of suicide with empathy and a thorough understanding of all factors and its complex interplay with severe mental health disorders.
Misconception #3: Only people from high/low socio-economic status attempt suicide.
Research does suggest that certain factors, such as poverty, can place a person at a higher risk for developing suicidal thoughts. However, suicidality does not discriminate. It is a difficult fight that anyone can engage in. It’s not a sign of weakness. Rather, it is a sign that this person is experiencing intense psychological pain that could be prompted by many different causes.
Misconception #4: Suicide often happens unexpectedly.
Many people claim that they “never saw it coming.” More often than not, a person gives signs that they are having suicidal thoughts. This is not to instigate guilt towards those who lost loved ones, as it is a difficult situation to recognize. That is because the signs people portray are not what we see in our typical Hollywood movies. Warning signs often manifest in different ways, some behavioral, other attitudinal, and, sometimes, even verbal. Some of these include:
- Unexpected change in a person’s mood, whether it’s more positive or negative
- Increased isolation
- Sudden changes in their sleeping and eating patterns
- Giving away personal items with no valid explanation
- Talking more openly and readily about suicide as a topic
The Gift of Voice.
Let’s take a moment to appreciate you, the person who reached this part of the blog and is still reading. Whether this topic is of interest to you or not, you have dedicated time and effort to enlighten yourself about an otherwise taboo subject.
Wanna take it up a notch? Knowledge is beautiful, and action can be even more remarkable. So, this is how you can take action. This is how we can start having honest, compassionate conversations about suicidality:
Be straightforward. Did you know that even something as medical as a cancer diagnosis was a taboo subject? On the other hand, suicide is still regarded as a stigmatized topic. Many individuals with suicidal thoughts might feel shame or fear from their ideations, especially those whose personal values strongly reject the notion of killing oneself. Thus, many people think that opening the topic of suicide may be a difficult thing to do. In reality, it’s simpler than you think. How else can we normalize a topic other than to be perfectly straightforward with it? Directly, and empathetically, asking if someone is having suicidal thoughts may actually prove itself a better approach than shying around the subject.
Practice being empathetic. The first thing that might pop into your head when hearing someone’s suicidal thoughts may be, “But what about all the people you love?”. While loved ones can be a strong deterrent against suicide, this conversation is not about how they would feel, it’s about how the person in-front of you is feeling. While it may make sense to you to crack down on them with the most logical argument you can muster up, sometimes what they want to hear are words of affirmation and empathy. Telling them not to be selfish and to “man up” is definitely not going to help. Instead, try to validate their emotions, offering compassionate words such as, “It must be difficult and lonely to face such struggles on your own. I’m here for you.”
Be aware of your own limitations and reach out to resources. Theoretically, I can write you a complete guide to address suicidality, providing you with the most detailed tips. However, not everyone has the capacity to engage in such a hard topic, especially if it’s with someone they care about. While now normalized and expected, the answers can still be heavy and scary. In that case, avoid dismissing the topic. Instead, be aware of important resources that might be able to provide you with the support you need, such as emergency hotlines, professionals and centers for mental health services. It is important to seek help regardless of the person’s readiness to do so. Remember! As guilty as it may feel, never promise someone with intense ideas that you will be keeping their plan a secret. If someone is in the process of ending their life, or has expressed a specific plan that includes a time and place, immediately prompt them to seek help, and even offer to connect them to the resources yourself.
We’re Here For You.
The battle between hope and helplessness is a tiresome one. Sometimes, a part of us regains the energy to fight, remembering all the dreams, love and resiliency it worked so hard to protect. Other times, we feel ourselves being dragged by dark thoughts, ones that frighten us. Maintaining hope is difficult, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Reach out. Whether you have suicidal thoughts or not, reach out and share the pain inside of you. Because you, too, deserve to be heard, understood and felt.