When you’re in denial, you’re attempting to protect yourself by refusing to accept the truth about an aspect of your life. Why does this happen, what does it indicate, and how to cope with it?

Denial is a form of defense in which a person refuses to acknowledge or accept objective facts or experiences, to protect themselves from discomfort or anxiety. We as humans may hardly get by if we were afraid, scared, traumatized, or worried, hence we use denial to help us cope and focus on what we need to do to survive. 

While it gives you time to accept, adapt, and eventually move on, denial may as well prevent you from addressing a problem or making a necessary change to help you heal. It may prevent you from accepting help or receiving necessary treatment in some cases.

Here are the signs, causes, and coping methods with denial.

Causes of Denial

The denial mechanism can appear as a failure to accept reality’s weight. It could be a familiar defense mechanism for people living with:

• Trauma
• Grief
• Personality disorders

Briefly, denial maybe your mind’s attempt to keep you from feeling simply overwhelmed, as reality may be quite a mental and physical shock. Denial, similar to other defense mechanisms, should be approached with caution and sensitivity. It may be what your body requires in the short term to keep going, but once you get out of denial, you can face reality. 

Signs of Denial

There are several indicators that you or someone you know is using denial as a defense mechanism. Some common symptoms include:

• Refusing to discuss the issue
• Finding ways to justify your behavior
• Blaming anyone and everyone for the problem
• Engaging in negative patterns despite negative consequences.
• Ignoring the problem completely

Furthermore, you may feel powerless or defenseless. On some level, you recognize that a problem exists and that it must be addressed, but you believe that nothing you do or say will make a significant difference. When others offer advice or assistance, you may dismiss their concerns by pretending to agree or telling them to mind their own business.

Effect of Denial

When attempting to deal with something surprising or upsetting, being in denial can provide you with some time and space to gradually, and often unconsciously, come to terms with the change. However, in some cases, denial can be problematic and even harmful. While you frequently fear that expressing your emotions will jeopardize your emotional security, your suppressed feelings can gradually take over your life instead.

Regrettably, denying your difficult emotions will not make them go away. Whatever you’re dealing with will always be intense and painful. People who are in denial frequently express themselves by cutting, developing eating disorders, or engaging in risky or dangerous behaviors. These behaviors appear to alleviate the intensity of your emotions, but they actually lead you down a darker and more painful path.

Ways to cope with denial

Now that you’re aware that denial is a defense mechanism, there’s no reason to avoid facing your true feelings. While you can’t expect to eliminate it completely from your life, you can work through some of the most harmful ones so you can associate with others effectively and care for your emotional health.

1. Becoming more self-aware

Defense mechanisms are a way to keep your true feelings hidden. They usually appear when we are feeling vulnerable and need to protect ourselves. Accepting that you are using them is the first step toward overcoming them. Allow your emotions to speak to you. Allow them to express themselves. Instead of burying your feelings, take action to improve your situation. You can more easily change your state once you identify how you cope with stress or negative situations. Over time, you’ll be able to deal with your problems more directly, which will make you feel more fulfilled overall.

2. Taking responsibility 

Defense mechanisms are frequently used to blame something outside of ourselves. Rather than accepting responsibility for our own actions, we believe that things are being done to us. Accept responsibility for whatever happens. To grow, you must accept that you cannot control how others behave. You have control over how your reactions, emotions, and actions, so make sure to embrace them with balance. 

3. Breaking the pattern

We always get caught up in patterns that don’t always serve us. You’ll be able to break those patterns and stop using defense mechanisms once you’ve learned to accept responsibility for your own emotions. Mindfulness and gratitude practices can help you shift your mindset and see the world in a more positive light. Journaling helps you to work through your emotions and identify the patterns that are preventing you from moving forward.

It’s only natural for everyone to have defense mechanisms.

It takes effort, patience, and persistence to get past this, but it’s well worth it.