Money disorder is like a thief stealing your financial peace. But, with awareness and action, you can overcome it and thrive.
Is this you? Think back to a time when you were feeling stressed and overwhelmed. In an attempt to find comfort, you ended up wandering through a busy shopping area, enticed by attractive displays and the promise of momentary happiness. As you mindlessly filled your shopping cart with things you didn’t really need, you experienced a fleeting sense of relief from life’s pressures. This common behavior is known as compulsive buying, a type of money disorder where shopping becomes a way to cope with your emotions. But compulsive buying is just one aspect of money disorders. Another lesser-known problem is underspending, where individuals excessively avoid spending money, depriving themselves of basic needs and experiences, often in an attempt to feel more in control or secure.
Imagine always choosing the cheapest option, constantly saving money to the point where it affects your well-being. Underspending is a money disorder that can lead to various financial and emotional difficulties. It’s more than just being thrifty; it involves an extreme aversion to spending money, even when it’s necessary or beneficial. Both compulsive buying and underspending are examples of money disorders that disrupt our financial health, trapping us in harmful patterns of self-sabotage.
What is money disorder?
Money disorders are ongoing patterns of harmful and limiting financial behaviors. They can stem from childhood experiences of poverty or the beliefs about money we’ve internalized from our parents or other financial flashpoints we’re experienced in our lives.
Money is not just about numbers and math.
It’s intertwined with our emotions and aspirations, making it an inherently emotional topic. Consider decisions like changing jobs, investing in a business venture, or saving for a dream vacation. While we can crunch numbers and analyze potential returns, emotional factors play a crucial role. For example, investing in a business can fulfill your entrepreneurial aspirations but also entails financial risks and uncertainties. Saving for a dream vacation involves sacrifices and delayed gratification, but the anticipation and joy it brings make it worthwhile. These examples demonstrate that our relationship with money is deeply personal and emotional, shaping the choices we make and the paths we take in life.
Can Money Buy You Happiness?
Do you believe in the famous saying “money can’t buy you happiness”? Well, this saying may be a bit misleading. It’s true that happiness is a state of mind that goes beyond the ability to pay bills or own physical objects. However, having a balanced financial awareness can contribute to greater happiness, and here’s how:
| Feeling less stressed about money | You experience increased happiness |
| Being more mindful of your financial management capabilities. | You feel more capable of handling financial pressures. |
| Having a growth mindset in managing your money. | You become less negative when faced with obstacles. |
| Placing less importance on income as a measure of your self-worth. | You value yourself unconditionally. |
Now, try answering the same question again, “Do you believe money can buy you happiness?”
Categories of Money Disorder
In the book “Mind Over Money” by Brad Klontz, a respected professor who studies how our emotions and behaviors affect our finances, he discusses three types of money disorders. These categories help us understand and recognize the patterns of unhelpful and self-destructive behaviors we may have when it comes to money.
- Money Avoidance
Money Avoidance is a category of money disorder characterized by a strong aversion towards dealing with financial matters. It encompasses behaviors such as underspending and excessive risk aversion. One aspect of money avoidance is financial denial. It involves actively avoiding or minimizing money problems by refusing to acknowledge or confront them. For example, someone experiencing financial denial might avoid looking at their bank statements, neglect to pay their bills, or avoid discussing their financial situation altogether. Another facet of money avoidance is underspending, where individuals excessively restrain their spending, even when it may be necessary or beneficial.
- Money-Worshipping
Money-Worshipping is characterized by an excessive and unhealthy obsession with money and material possessions. It includes behaviors such as hoarding, compulsive buying, pathological gambling, and workaholism. Pathological gambling is where individuals develop a compulsive need to engage in gambling activities despite the negative consequences. Hoarding is when individuals accumulate and stockpile objects or money beyond what is necessary. Compulsive buying, on the other hand, is an overpowering urge to shop excessively, often driven by deep-seated money worries. Compulsive shoppers seek temporary relief from worry and anxiety through the act of purchasing.
- Relational Money
It refers to a category of money disorders that involves the dynamics of money within relationships. It encompasses behaviors such as financial dependence and financial incest, which can have significant impacts on both the individuals involved and their relationships. Behaviors such as financial dependence and financial incest are forms of relational money disorders that can have profound impacts on individuals and their relationships. Imagine a scenario where a couple has agreed to stick to a budget, but one partner secretly makes large purchases outside of the agreed-upon limits. They hide the receipts, lie about the cost of the items, and deceive their partner about their spending habits. This is known as “Financial Infidelity,” which can deeply strain the relationship and create conflicts.
Can you relate to any of these examples? Or do you know someone who shows similar behaviors? In the following section, we’ll dive into some tips on how to overcome financial self-sabotage.
Tips to Overcome Financial Self-Sabotage
Be Kind to Yourself.
Imagine you made a significant financial mistake in the past that led to financial difficulties. Instead of beating yourself up over it, practice self-compassion. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and forgive yourself for yours. Embrace the lessons learned from past challenges as opportunities for personal growth, wisdom, and resilience.
Rise Above Limiting Beliefs.
By reframing your mindset and focusing on positive possibilities, you can overcome self-sabotaging doubts and take confident steps toward a financially rewarding future. Imagine you’re considering a career change that involves taking a pay cut but aligns with your long-term goals and passions. Instead of succumbing to fear, uncertainty, and doubt, unplug from these negative emotions. Remind yourself that taking calculated risks can lead to growth and fulfillment.
Reconnect With Yourself.
It’s important to shift your perspective and recognize that your true worth extends far beyond material possessions or financial status. To foster a deeper connection with your true self, incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Engage in activities such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga to cultivate self-awareness, clarity, and inner peace. These practices help you tap into your inner wisdom and connect with your highest self, allowing you to make financial decisions aligned with your values, passions, and purpose.
Transform Your Mindset.
Have you experienced financial difficulties in the past, such as struggling to make ends meet or living in a state of constant financial worry? These experiences can create a scarcity mindset, where your primary focus is on the fear of not having enough. This scarcity mindset can limit your ability to see opportunities and hinder financial progress. Abundant thinking encourages you to approach financial challenges with a mindset of abundance rather than fear. It fosters a proactive and resilient attitude, enabling you to embrace opportunities and think creatively.
Consider Consulting Experts for Guidance.
Seeking professional help is a crucial step for anyone grappling with a money disorder. Professionals have the expertise to properly diagnose these disorders, provide a personalized treatment plan, and offer valuable insights and guidance. They create a safe and supportive environment for individuals to explore their challenges, develop healthier money habits, and improve overall well-being. Consider seeking guidance from a therapist, financial advisor, personal banker, or consumer credit counseling services to receive assistance with budgeting, debt consolidation, and investment opportunities.
With the guidance of skilled professionals, you can gain valuable insights, acquire practical tools, and embark on a journey of healing
and financial well-being.
