Generational trauma- a trauma inherited over the years from parents to children- can have a significant impact on both your mental and physical well-being. What are its effects, and how can you break this cycle?

Generational trauma is a trauma cycle that occurs when an individual passes similar traumatic experiences to their own to their children. A new generation may inherit this trauma due to a parent’s interactions with them, the actions and patterns they observe their parents taking, or even genetics or DNA.

Generational trauma can be subtle, undefinable, silent, and unintentionally implied throughout a person’s life starting at a young age. Children occasionally pick up unhealthy habits by interacting with or watching family members. For instance, if your parents had trauma, they might always try to avoid tension and conflict, and may communicate passively or passive-aggressively with one another. They might struggle to assert their needs in a positive way or to engage in direct problem-solving. Then, they inadvertently teach “you” how to cope and interact using those strategies.

The results of this manifest themselves in feeling “stuck” in this response due to repeated or ongoing exposure to trauma, whether that means you keep going through the same trauma or different traumas. Your body might constantly become on the lookout for threats because it wants you to get through the situation safely.

There is a way out, though. Knowledge and awareness are the main ways to combat the stigma associated with intergenerational trauma, and to help yourself and your future family break this cycle.

Keep on reading!

How Generational Trauma Manifests Itself

No family or person is immune from traumatic events that can affect them as well as their family members. Among the traumatic events that can result in intergenerational trauma are parental incarceration, strict parenting, divorce, alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and child neglect or abuse (e.g. sexual, physical, or emotional).

The following family pattern is an illustration of one that is more likely to transmit generational trauma:

• A family who exhibits strong emotional reticence or lack of emotion.
• A family who views discussing feelings as a weakness.
• A family who struggles to build trust with “outsiders” and appears to be in constant conflict.
• A family who comes across as overly concerned and protective of their children or other family members, even when there is no danger.

The resulting symptoms and signs of trauma can differ significantly from person to person and from family to family. They may include hypervigilance, mistrust, high anxiety, depression, panic attacks, nightmares, insomnia, a sensitive fight or flight response, and problems with self-esteem and self-confidence.

Some additional effects might be as follows:

• Depersonalization and dissociation, or a feeling of being detached from the body and emotions.
• Being emotionally numb or having trouble feeling and expressing emotions.
• Having issues building relationships and connections with others.
• Feeling of helplessness or vulnerability. 
• Feelings of loneliness and withdrawal.
• Feelings of shame, guilt, or low self-esteem.
• Being unable to establish one’s own identity and avoiding particular people, places, or things.
• Disturbed relationships with family and romantic partners.
• A decreased sense of safety and security in daily life.

Some individuals become so used to dealing with the effects of generational trauma in a family that the trauma and symptoms seem “normal” to them.

However, although intergenerational trauma can have profound, intricate, and adverse effects, it is also possible to recover and lessen your risk of reinitiating the cycle.

How to Break The Generational Trauma Cycle

1. Recognize the trauma

Avoidance is one of the leading causes of intergenerational trauma, hence, it frequently remains unresolved. A helpful first step to healing is admitting that traumatic events or adverse childhood experiences have affected you. This could take the form of admitting that you’ve been through a difficult time and that you might be harming other people. Many people may find facing these experiences challenging or think about their effects. In order to recover and develop coping mechanisms for stressors, it is crucial to give the trauma the time it needs to be processed.

2. Practice self-compassion.

Adults who experienced trauma as young children were rarely shown compassion or given time to think. Therefore, at first, this might feel uneasy. People who have been taught that they are not unique or valuable may find it challenging to allow themselves to feel that. Replace some of these bad habits gradually and spend more time being compassionate and loving to yourself.

3. Identify your circle of close people 

People who have been subjected to abuse or trauma frequently gravitate toward unhealthful relationship patterns that are comfortable to them. However, you might find it beneficial to create a close-knit group of friends and family who want to help you through the healing and learning processes. You might try looking for people who will listen patiently as you talk about a challenging event you went through, or when you describe challenging family interactions as a child. You’ll probably find it healthier to build a social circle that uplifts rather than drags you down for once.

4. Be ready to hold yourself accountable.

We all have room for improvement in this area because it’s never easy to hear how our actions have affected—or even hurt—other people. Children who grow up in families where empathy and healthy communication are not well-modeled quickly associate these conversations with danger or threat. I advise talking to your close ones and saying: “I’m trying to end the cycle of some negative behaviors I picked up. I’m trying to be more receptive to learning and improving.” This communicates to them that you are working to become a safer person to them!

5. Consider reaching out to a specialist

To assist you in processing your trauma and healing, think about reaching out to a mental health professional. Intergenerational trauma can cause various issues, some of which may not be directly related to the trauma, like unhealthy coping mechanisms for stress. Certain forms of therapy are especially effective for complex trauma or childhood trauma. An extra hand is always a good idea!

Try to keep in mind that you are not to blame for the intergenerational trauma cycle. It’s not your fault that you went through such trauma. 

However, you have the power to decide to break the cycle and discover a way to heal.