In the theatrical play we call life, certain plot twists can leave us breathless and grappling with the inability to comprehend the new narrative. A cancer diagnosis is an example of such a twist. It is the uninvited character that enters our stories and antagonizing our mental and physical health. Amidst our battle with this antagonist, we often forget to acknowledge the silent protagonist in this drama—our mental health.
In this exploration of the emotional rollercoaster following a cancer diagnosis, we delve into the heavy emotions that shape our reactions to life-altering news.
Therefore, let’s get ourselves ready to peel back the layers, understand the complexity of our feelings, and discover the hidden weapons we can use to help our mental health take center stage in the narrative of survival.
Beyond the physical diagnosis lies a tangled cluster of emotions
Emotions experienced after a cancer diagnosis can differ from one person to another. Even the same person can have a different reaction depending on how much time passed after the diagnosis. Understanding these emotions and why they arise can be pivotal in navigating the distress associated with a cancer diagnosis:
- Shock and Numbness:
Dramas often include an explosive reaction in response to a cancer diagnosis. I get it, it adds to the tear-jerking effect. However, in real life, many people feel and experience things differently. Patients’ immediate responses more commonly include shock and numbness. It’s when the words get stuck in the throat, and the fog engulfs the mind, hindering the ability to fully register and respond in a given situation.
- Denial and Bargaining
“There’s no way this is happening, I feel fine.”
Denial and bargaining are our turtle shells that shield us from the heaviness of a possible life-altering illness. It is not an expression of ignorance or stubbornness, nor is it our way to frustrate the medical staff and family. Rather, it is our psychology that serves as a temporary refuge in the face of immediate distress. This is why, an immediate response towards a cancer diagnosis can sometimes be the emotional inability or unreadiness to accept such a challenge.
- Anger
If you close your eyes for a second, and try to visualize what represents the word “anger.” Some people might visualize something related to aggression, intensity or intimidation. In reality, anger is only the tip of the huge iceberg of emotions. What underlies this iceberg is a diverse set of emotions, each prompted by a different trigger. Upon receiving a cancer diagnosis, some patients may grapple with a profound sense of injustice, questioning why they are facing such a challenging circumstance. Others could mourn the loss of autonomy or the sudden change in their life. All these feelings can manifest into anger and frustration when the patient struggles to understand and cope with the intensity of these emotions.
- Anxiety
From uncertainty about healthcare treatments to doubts surrounding one’s self-image, patients who receive a cancer diagnosis are thrust into a dark mystery. This abrupt transition from a stable normalcy into a landscape of questions evokes a sense of fear and apprehension. Anxiety in itself is a natural reaction that helps the body and mind to survive against challenges. However, in the face of overwhelming possibilities in a cancer diagnosis, this anxiety can reach heightened levels, prompted by several factors such as financial worries, existential crisis and fear of the unknown.
- Fatigue and Depression
Take a moment to imagine yourself lifting a big metal ball. Can you feel the heaviness of it? The way it gravitates you downwards despite the efforts to stay standing? This metal ball is sometimes as heavy as the feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and grief experienced by some cancer patients. Many individuals feel a great sense of fatigue and depressive symptoms due to the great emotional and physical stress they experience. This fatigue is not only limited to the physical sense, but also could extend mentally, causing the person to feel drained and unable to conjure up the energy to do daily functions and activities.
What to do with this heavy ball of emotions?
Of course, someone facing a scary diagnosis will feel certain levels of distress. And of course, this person will not exactly be excited about the prospect of doctor visits and blood tests. If these feelings are so normal and common, what do we do about them? How much can we actually cope with them?
- Inquire About Possible Changes
Similar to how an athlete trains his body for new challenges and physical strain, mentally preparing ourselves for what’s coming is a significant step in coping with the possible changes associated with a cancer diagnosis. From physical symptoms to lifestyle accommodations, it’s important to ask medical professionals about what to expect and the appropriate measures to take in order to reduce anxiety.
- Set Clear Boundaries
Many of the heavy feelings we experience stem from the body’s own mechanism to protect itself from possible threats. To tackle such feelings of fear, shock, anger and denial, it’s important to create a space in which we feel safe. For example, getting a cancer diagnosis could come up in conversations where the patient does not feel comfortable engaging in. In this case, it is acceptable to redirect the conversation or even express this discomfort. Other ways of creating a safe space could include expressing personal boundaries and surrounding yourself with people who bring you comfort.
- Prioritize Self-care and a Healthy Lifestyle
In alignment with creating a safe space, self-care is an important step to reduce stress and anxiety. Self-care could include practicing mindfulness, breathing exercises, sports or any small activity that has the potential to reduce your stress. Taking care of your sleeping and eating habits is also vulnerable to chance upon the distress of a cancer diagnosis, so taking extra care to maintain a healthy schedule could go a long way in making you feel better.
- Build a Support System
What’s better to tackle a cold storm than a warm hug? Isolation and social withdrawals are significant risk factors that could increase distress after a cancer diagnosis. Making sure to be surrounded by loved ones, professional staff and group support is an important step in stabilizing our mental health.
There’s a reason we call it an emotional rollercoaster
Adjusting to distressful news is a difficult process. When it comes to life-altering illnesses, such as cancer, adjustment is often not in phases or stages. It is, in fact, a dynamic process embedded in the context of our lives.
“Cancer is a word, not a sentence.” – John Diamond
Wait, was that just a weird way to give a grammar lesson? Well, in his quote, Diamond, who himself was a cancer patient, was showing us that despite the challenges, cancer does not necessarily define the narrative of our life. To everyone out there who has experienced a cancer diagnosis, knew someone in a similar position, or simply felt empathetic enough to learn more about the mental turmoil of a cancer diagnosis, embracing resilience and practicing self-care are invisible shields with powerful strengths.