Does self-compassion trump self-esteem? What does it mean to have self-compassion?
Self-compassion is how we accept that our mistakes, flaws, and mishaps are all-natural and human. It is the way we treat ourselves nicely, with empathy, when we fall short of our expectations.
It is acting in favor of our own humanity and speaking to ourselves the way we do to our loved ones.
But how do you attain such a high accolade of self-love? What are the steps you can take to learn how to be nice to yourself? I’ve got some of the answers, and I’m here to share them with you!
How does self-compassion help?
Self-compassion can aid you in being at peace with yourself and improve how you see and treat yourself. It is an important asset to have when everything else fails.
A study measuring psychological distress in reference to self-compassion found that those who are self-compassionate are less anxious and depressed. Self-compassionate people often have higher emotional intelligence and more social connections; they are supportive, caring, and, most importantly, empathetic.
You relate to yourself in a compassionate, loving, and accepting way even when things don’t go as planned. And in that, there is the power of always knowing someone will assure you that everything will be alright.
Self-esteem or Self-compassion: Which one is more effective?
Self-esteem is usually what popular culture tells us to seek: feeling good about our achievements and strengths. Being recognized for what you’re good at leaves you with an external validation buzz.
But what happens when you fail? Will you criticize and judge yourself, feeling like your self-esteem drops to the ground instead of accepting your limitations?
Self-esteem is only a way of thinking about yourself, a positive evaluation of the self. You shouldn’t base how you treat yourself on a changing perspective.
Self-compassion is made up of self-kindness, mindfulness, and the notion that we are all flawed humans. These components can be understood as:
Self-kindness
When you are kind to yourself in moments of suffering and failure without ignoring the pain, you are one step closer to being self-compassionate. That is practicing self-kindness, being understanding of our own weaknesses.
Mindfulness
It is the opposite of resisting the pain we feel when we fail, of avoiding the negative feelings for our shortcomings. Acknowledge your thoughts without judging them. Mindfulness is the key to address difficult experiences safely.
Humanity’s Universal Experience
The human condition is something we can all relate to; everyone you know and don’t know, for that matter, is imperfect. You cannot criticize yourself for being flawed when everyone feels inadequate from time to time. Remind yourself that it is all part of the experience of being human.
How do I practice self-compassion?
There are a few methods to put your willingness to be self-compassionate to action. When you find yourself about to judge yourself for your insecurities, try to:
- Think about how you would normally talk to a friend and do the same to yourself.
- Write down a list of everything you like about yourself from the perspective of a supportive friend.
- Encourage yourself and remember the universal human experience; you’re not alone in this.
- Eat healthy food that can rejuvenate and comfort your body.
- Gently soothe your body with kind touches, fueling your self-love and acceptance of what is there.
I know the task at hand is very difficult. You’ve hard-wired your brain into being too critical of your actions, but you need to start giving yourself as much compassion as you do others. It is the only way to grow out of this cycle of self-hate.