Struggling with the stress of money? Discover how your childhood shapes your money mindset and unlock the secrets to financial freedom.
What if, instead of dollars, we traded food for services? Historically, that wasn’t far from reality. But here’s the real question: Who decided that pieces of paper could hold enough value to secure our safety, health and basic needs?
The answer is simple: We did. Human societies collectively agreed to assign worth to money, turning it into a cornerstone of modern life.
This isn’t inherently a bad thing! The invention of money created opportunities for humanity to build the extraordinary communities that we see today. But here’s the catch: Just as we have the power to give money its value, we also have the power to decide how much control it has over us. In our consumer-driven world, it’s easy to get carried away with the demands of cash production, get swamped under financial anxiety and the need to elevate our status.
In today’s blog, we’ll explore how to reclaim our power over money. We’ll dive into how our upbringing shapes our understanding of finances and discover ways to break free from these narratives, recognizing our inherent and priceless self-worth.
Who Writes Our Financial Narratives?
To what extent are we making our financial decisions based on purely conscious thinking? While it may seem difficult to tap into the truth of our financial realities, much of our perception towards money stems from unconscious motives driven by developmental and societal influences. Together, let’s take a moment to uncover these truths:
- Cultural and Societal Influences
We see it all the time in the media and advertisements– expensive suits, fancy cars and glorified wealth. While we may engage in our financial beliefs in ways that feel natural, they are often deeply embedded in cultural norms and societal expectations. Do the people around you value individual financial independence or do they prioritize communal wealth? Do you feel like people treat you differently if you “look rich” or is your individuality appreciated? Social norms can sometimes force us into a pattern of ascribing our worth and happiness to our financial status. Thus, gaining money becomes an indefinite purpose and we risk losing sight of what truly fulfills us. The relentless chase for wealth can overshadow meaningful relationships, personal growth and authentic self-expression, leaving us trapped in a cycle of never feeling “enough.”
- Childhood Influences
Like most things, much of our initial exposure to money starts at home. Piece by piece, we get introduced to the world of money from our parents’ eyes– we learn about its role and its limitations. And perhaps, you grew up in a household where money wasn’t openly discussed, but you observed patterns of savings and cautions. The way we emotionally respond to money as adults can be imprinted by our childhood memories in endless ways. While this could be difficult, I encourage you to reflect: As an adult, how is your childhood reflected in your financial behavior?
- Personal Beliefs and Emotional Triggers
For many, when life gets heavy, money becomes a way to manage emotions. When that happens, spending offers temporary relief from stress, sadness, or anxiety—a phenomenon known as emotional spending. While it might feel comforting in the moment, this behavior can lead to financial strain and perpetuate a cycle of negative emotions, leaving underlying issues unresolved. Moreover, the way emotions and money interplay manifests in different ways. For example, research shows that your attachment style can even impact the way you talk about finances with your partner, affecting your money outcomes.
What Can We Do?
1. Reflect on Your Money Story
Recognizing the power you have over your perception on finances starts by addressing how this perception came to be in the first place. Take time to identify the messages you absorbed about money growing up. This internal process can be intimidating, but acknowledging these narratives can help you pinpoint the underlying childhood influences that may no longer align with your adult self.
2. Educate Yourself
Challenge your preset beliefs with novel knowledge. Financial literacy is a powerful tool for breaking cycles of fear or confusion. Learn the basics of budgeting, saving and investing. Managing finances can now be approached from a professional and informed perspective by accessing resources like workshops to guide you on your journey.
3. Practice Mindful Spending
Pay attention to how and why you spend. Are you trying to impress others, relieve stress or genuinely meet your needs? Mindful spending can help you align your financial habits with your values.
4. Explore Your Self-Worth
While money can make life easier, it’s simply a tool we can use. Instead of letting it reflect who we are, take time to explore your identity and self-worth independently of your financial status. Reflect on the qualities, skills and values that make you who you are. Cultivating self-worth that isn’t tied to money can help you make financial decisions from a place of confidence and authenticity, rather than fear or comparison.
5. Seek Guidance
To many, opening up about our financial situation may reflect deep vulnerabilities. However, don’t hesitate to reach out to a financial planner or therapist. These professionals can provide practical tools and emotional support to help you navigate these financial challenges and what’s laying underneath.
Our relationship with money can often feel deeply personal and even uncomfortable to examine. For many, money symbolizes more than just a means of exchange—it represents power, status and self-worth. This emotional weight can create anxiety and tension, transforming what should be a tool for achieving a fulfilling life into a source of stress. Exploring our identities beyond monetary assets fosters a deeper understanding of self-worth, untethered from financial achievements.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you
something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson