We all encounter circumstances we’d rather avoid from time to time. However, there is a difference between hesitancy and emotional avoidance. What Is Emotional Avoidance, and How to Deal with It?
Avoidance is a natural element of life.
There are times when you avoid people, places, or things because you know how the scenario will end (and it will not be good). However, emotional avoidance is a common traumatic reaction. It is defined as the attempt to avoid upsetting memories, thoughts, or feelings, as well as external reminders such as conversations about the traumatic incident or persons or locations that remind you of the occurrence.
Emotional avoidance refers to any action used to avoid experiencing an unpleasant emotion such as fear, grief, or embarrassment. It is one of the habits that we develop through time as a coping mechanism for the trauma that we may have experienced in our childhood. Avoidance actions attempt to withdraw from situations and emotions that cause trauma-related symptoms. Furthermore, those who avoid may experience emotional numbing symptoms like feeling distant from others, losing interest in activities they formerly enjoyed, or having difficulty experiencing good emotions such as happiness or love.
The issue emerges when this avoidance turns into an avoidance of responsibility. This refers to any measure taken to not only delay but also prevent the emergence of unpleasant feelings. Fear, sadness, shame, and guilt are some of the most common.
Despite all that, the initial method to handle your emotional avoidance is to develop healthier coping mechanisms. This article will discuss more.
Signs of Emotional Avoidance
People who have survived a traumatic incident frequently engage in actions that help them cope with uncomfortable memories and the emotions accompanying them.
Among the emotional avoidance behaviors are:
- Avoiding locations and activities that will trigger you to relive the incident
- Inability to feel love
- Inability to recollect key details of a certain incident
- Losing interest in your family and friends
- Feeling disconnected from people you care about
- Avoiding conversations, thoughts, or feelings
- Avoiding interactions with people who bring up memories of an event
Others may engage in tension-relieving actions like as:
- Food bingeing
- Engaging in risky behavior
- Self-harming behaviors
- Allowing suicidal thoughts
- Spending a large amount of money
Effects of Emotional Avoidance
Emotions provide vital psychological and physiological functions. Your emotions give you information about yourself and the world around you. They communicate and motivate people to take action.
Avoiding your emotions requires significant work as well, and as the emotions you are avoiding become stronger, more and more effort is required. As a result, you may have little energy left over for the important things in your life, such as family and friends. Furthermore, focusing all of your energy on avoiding certain feelings may make it harder to manage other experiences, such as anger and aggravation, increasing your likelihood of becoming “on edge” and furious.
While emotional avoidance temporarily suppresses unpleasant emotions, the emotions you’re attempting to avoid may become more difficult to ignore over time. In an attempt to serve their functions, your emotions may “fight back.”
Ways to deal with emotional avoidance
Identify your feelings
When you detect a shift in your mood, take a moment to pause and identify the feeling that has been aroused. Consider yourself on a balcony, watching automobiles pass by. Just like you could name different car models as they pass, you might begin to practice observing and naming your emotions from a distance as they come. This can assist you in bringing clarity to your emotional environment, which is frequently chaotic and messy. Learning mindfulness techniques can be quite beneficial in developing the ability to pay attention to what you are experiencing in the present moment without criticizing or being frustrated with yourself or your emotions.
Recognize your relationship with your emotions
What is your emotional relationship like? It is critical to reflect on this because how you think about negative emotions influences how you feel about them, as well as how you behave and respond to them. For example, suppose you believe that negative emotions are an inconvenience and a sign of weakness. In that case, you may become frustrated when you or others experience them, leading you to avoid them. This can become automatic and habitual, so it can help break a habit by noticing and identifying when these patterns are occurring.
Discover your emotional triggers.
Being in touch with our bodies can assist you in detecting your emotions and determining what may have prompted them. Understanding the triggers might help you be more prepared for specific emotions and manage them more effectively. For example, if I know that speaking at a meeting usually causes me anxiety, I can take a few moments to calm myself down by taking 10 deep breaths. You might gently and curiously ask yourself the following questions:
- What sparked my emotion?
- What is this emotion attempting to tell me?
- What does this emotion imply I require right now?
Asking questions about your emotions might help you take a step back and comprehend what your mind and body are telling you.
Express your feelings to yourself and others
Taking a moment to check in with yourself and express yourself might be beneficial. If left untreated, this may prevent emotions from building up over time. Journaling, drawing, and painting are all useful ways to communicate one’s emotions. You can also express your emotions with people you trust and feel safe around. As a result, others may feel more comfortable opening up to you, which can improve the quality and intimacy of your relationships.
Emotional avoidance is difficult to eradicate, but there are viable alternatives. It’s critical to realize that you can live a complete life without avoiding situations or people. It is never too late to help yourself and deal with emotional avoidance.