Despite it being a common feeling, the temporary resident mindset is heavy with tones of loneliness and struggle. Let’s find the path towards healing.
You set up your new home. You get the paperwork done. You try the local food, learn a few phrases and even know the best grocery store in your neighborhood.
But still, something feels off.
You hesitate to decorate. You second-guess building close relationships. You can’t stop yourself from thinking: How long will I really be here?
This temporary resident mindset is quiet. It silently lingers and limits. It is an often unspoken mental stance where expats live in a place, but not truly with it. It is the mental split between being physically present and emotionally distant, rooted in a feeling that belonging is conditional, fragile or simply unavailable.
Today, we’re offering a space for anyone who’s ever felt that quiet ache of being somewhere, but not entirely of it. Together, let’s hold our yearning while still making room for what’s to come.
Introducing What’s Unsaid
Many think that the temporary resident mindset is circumscribed around legal residency. But really, it’s about our emotional and psychological positioning. It is the internal voice that says:
“Don’t get too attached.”
“This isn’t really home.”
“I’m just passing through.”
This feeling persists despite having traveled for years. It is not uncommon for expats to feel mentally in limbo, especially when job contracts, visas or political climates make long-term stability feel out of reach.
More than anything, this mindset isn’t just restricted to our perception. It also affects our psychological well-being as it projects feelings of impermanence, which can slowly erode someone’s sense of grounding, routine and identity.
The Psychology of Transience
When settling down feels risky, when your heart is stuck somewhere else and when new attachments seem like inevitable heartbreak, emotional detachment starts to grow. Over time, it can creep into our everyday decisions. Through the self-fulfilling prophecy, we start limiting our opportunities to belong, feeling lonelier and heavier as time passes by.
We may…
- Fear forming deep friendships
- Resist investing in our home or environment
- Experience chronic nostalgia for “somewhere else”
- Lack of motivation to build long-term goals
- Think of constant internal comparisons to “home”
Psychologically, this can contribute to depression, loneliness and identity fragmentation. Prolonged disconnection from a sense of home can affect emotional resilience and feelings of personal continuity, especially when transitions are frequent or unchosen.
In many cases, expats don’t feel entitled to claim a place as their own. They might hesitate to say “I live here” and instead say, “I’m based here for now.” These linguistic shifts reflect a deeper belief that belonging is something only locals are allowed to feel.
When do we struggle with the temporary resident mindset the most? Here’s a list of contributing factors that you may relate to:
- Visa and Job Insecurity
When your right to stay is tied to a job or a government approval process, your life feels conditional. It is difficult to commit fully when a bureaucratic decision can uproot you with little warning.
- Cultural Barriers and Social Exclusion
Even in open, cosmopolitan cities, subtle signs of exclusion like language barriers, cultural differences or unspoken social hierarchies can reinforce the feeling of being different.
- Repeated Transitions and “Start-Over Fatigue”
For serial expats, the exhaustion of constantly building and rebuilding can lead to emotional withdrawal. It is a protective response. Consider if you’ve ever had the thought: “If I don’t invest too much, it won’t hurt when I leave again.”
- Grief for the Place Left Behind
You may love where you are, but still long for where you were. That is not a weakness. It is emotional displacement. It’s normal to mourn a sense of rootedness, even when you have chosen to leave it behind.
The Myth of “Just Give It Time”
People often assume that time will resolve the temporary feeling. But time alone doesn’t guarantee belonging. Engagement does. Resistance is best fought through action: By cultivating connection, purpose and ownership of the environment. Through these gentle steps, you can also reclaim a sense of stability and emotional connection.
- Practice Intentional Grounding
Even small rituals like decorating your space, learning the local language or joining a community group can signal to your nervous system that you are here, and it is safe to be here.
- Create a Personal Sense of “Home”
When we assimilate our identities with a location, we struggle to be mindful of our existence beyond this physical limitation. Cultivate self-awareness to create your own personal space of comfort. Home doesn’t have to be a place. It can be a feeling, a person, a playlist or a routine. Identify what helps you feel grounded and create it wherever you go.
- Build Community, Not Just Contact
It is easy to accumulate acquaintances, but connections require intention. Reach out. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Trust that some relationships might outlast your location, and that’s okay. Research shows that building a community can be a significant step towards a better physical and emotional well-being.
- Honor Past Connections, But Welcome New Transitions
Sometimes, moving feels like a betrayal. It’s as if we are forced to choose between our loyalty to our past or the opportunities of the future. The truth is: This dilemma is simply impossible. What is possible, albeit difficult, is starting new transitions while acknowledging what you are missing. The significance of this mourning process allows you to process your emotions and offer you introspective reflections. So, write about it. Talk about it. But don’t let it rob you from being where you are.
- Let Go of the “All or Nothing” Rule
The “All or Nothing” rule is a quiet belief that unless something is permanent, it isn’t worth investing in. It convinces us that if we can’t stay forever, we shouldn’t start at all. But this mindset limits joy and growth. In this sense, you don’t need to know if you will be somewhere forever to build something meaningful. Temporary doesn’t mean pointless. Relationships, growth and memories matter even if they don’t last forever.
You Belong to Yourself First
The key isn’t to erase the past or force the present to fit. It is to gently blend both until a fuller picture of belonging emerges.
Feeling like a visitor in your own life can be disorienting. That is not misplacement. It is development. And you are allowed to be where you are, just as you are, without needing to prove permanence.
Whether you stay for six months or six years, you are allowed to belong.
Because belonging is undoubtedly weighted in memories, contributions and the freedom to be yourself wholly, authentically and unapologetically .